Student Depreciation Day

History is rife with tales of unwanted gifts, and as with most unwanted gifts, there have usually been downsides. The Trojans got a free wooden horse only to later discover that it was filled with claustrophobic Greek warriors. The Native Americans received blankets from settlers who failed to mention that they were infested with smallpox (the blankets, not the settlers, though there's a good chance...).

History has repeated itself here at Houghton.

We were given "Student Appreciation Day" by our beloved catering service (serving us with wholesome, tasteless food for who knows how long...). Essentially, it was the same food we have every day, only this time it had been prepared by hand by our fellow students (making the lines stretch clear on down the stairs). Granted, we were given tablecloths, but considering that we're only going to get them dirty, the amount of soap and water needed to wash them will probably cost more time and effort than to have simply left the tables alone. To top it all off, the center of the cafeteria had been leveled to make way for a long table from which obnoxious propaganda was launched at us with all the sweet subtly of nuclear detonations. Granted, they were attempting to give the students some entertainment with their trivia games, but all in all not nearly enough people participated to make it even remotely interesting, let alone enjoyable. Besides, being constantly deafened by "This prize donated by the Cola corporation and some other blood-sucking business" tends to put a damper on the conversations of others (and if you're among the few hard-core leftists, simply hearing how Cola and it's inbred siblings advertise even in Houghton is enough to put you off your food- not that it isn't bad enough already).

So catering service, let me put it to you this way.
We appreciate your efforts, we truly do. We know how much time and energy you must have put into this day.

That said, we must ask you to never do it again.

This "appreciation" day makes even eating a baffling ordeal. Sitting down to a meal shouldn't be this hard- the students have enough on their plates as it is (forgive the pun). If you truly want to go out of your way for us, then put some flavor into the food for a change or leave a plate of fresh fruit on each table- it's feasible for your lot and actually enjoyable for us. We appreciate you- please don't "appreciate" us...

April Fools

Considering that this is a college setting, one might expect April Fools Day to be something the students look forward to.

At Houghton, this is not the case.

Here, there is a general air of laziness when it comes to April Fools- a general feeling of "Yeah, I didn't do anything myself but I heard this one dude..." that fills the cafeteria like a bad smell. In general, a few pranks will happen (usually someones clothes will be stolen) but otherwise students prefer to laugh about other people's pranks than participate themselves.

Really, its come to be expected. Houghtians have adopted the slogan of "We work hard and we study hard!".
Playing hard- even just once in a while- doesn't really come into the picture.

For some, of course, this is understandable- not everyone has the time or means. In general though, the majority of students could do something for a change. Even if it's just covering a dormmate's door with with post-it notes or serenading (in a foreign language) some random girl, pranks can- no- must be preformed. Everyone has to pull their weight to make Houghton fun.

When in Dublin...

... do as the Irish do (unless, of course, you're at Houghton).

While on this bright and warm Saint Patrick's day the number of students wearing green skyrocketed, there was a noticeable lack of "Irishness". Sure there were shamrocks, and green hats, and green t-shirts with stupid slogans, but otherwise it was like any other day.

This is because of Houghton's alcohol policy.

Had there been whiskey and beer flowing like water and cola, then this day would've been far more exciting. While spontaneous river dancing might be too much to hope for, there would have been at least some swearing, brawling, and destruction of property.

Sure the majority of Houghtians observed the holiday, but is observation truly enough? We here at the Houghton Independent believe that it isn't enough to simply wear green and talk in an exaggerated Irish accent for a day. If we want to remember the Irish- truly remember- then we should leave behind our pathetic t-shirts and obnoxious dialect and honor the things the Irish stand for (primarily binge drinking and acts of casual violence).

The Persistence of Mexican

Usually after a break the quality in cafeteria food is appalling- not so this past week. From Monday onwards, the cafeteria delivered a mountain of crowd-pleasers, including three days of the ever-popular Mexican bar, two days of Asian, and for a finishing touch, the rare yet mouth-watering New England clam chowder. All in all, a great week.

Or was it?

Usually, Houghton serves popular dishes sporadically- for every bountiful harvest of good food (such as Mexican) there's almost two weeks of famine. The fact that so much good food is being served at once is an ominous indicator that it will be a long time before we receive these dishes again.

Is all hope lost?
Not necessarily.

Houghton is subject to an on-and-off flow of prospective students and their families. Sure, they're noisy and tend to overcrowd the already packed cafeteria, but consider this: Houghton's cooking improves dramatically every time prospectives arrive. Also remember that the ISA's Caribbean banquet is coming up (though now that I think about it, unless you bought tickets, you're screwed).

End result? We will be paying for this sudden bounty, however we shouldn't have to tighten the belt buckles just quite yet...

Coming Soon...

Coming soon, the weekly review of food. A brief critique and analysis of Houghton's cafeteria meals.

Think you can stomach it?

Love Thy Neighbor (So Long as He's Like You in Every Respect...)

Do not misunderstand me- Houghton has a great many good qualities. We've got beautiful campus, warm dorms, modern facilities, a well-stocked library, wireless internet, and good food- even if it is a little bland time to time.

However, for all its fame as a "community", "unity", and "diversity" tolerance is not one of Houghton's greatest attributes. Sure there's a general philosophy of "we don't have to agree" when it comes to minor disagreements such as the merits of breakfast or the quality of a chapel sermon, however, should you differ from the student body's mainstream philosophy, God help you.

It's here that Houghton's dark side really comes through. There's nothing wrong with not liking those who are different- after all, society is based on mutual needs, goals, and philosophies. However disliking someone for being different is never acceptable. While Houghton has done all in its power to make the campus more diverse, Houghton's treatment of those who are diverse leaves much to be desired.

If you're different enough- if you're far away enough from what's deemed to be wholesome or holy- then chances are you'll be treated as if you were nothing more than a half-crazed homeless man. If your a Democrat, you might be given the courtesy of the "You're entitled to your own wrong and unethical point of view". If you're a liberal or a hard-core leftist, you'll get the same amount of respect and credence as a conspiracy theory. Your arguments, philosophies, and world-view will be considered to be either childish, Utopian fantasies or angry, irrational fanaticism (and as a Communist, believe me, I know...). Some will laugh and shrug you off as if you're a joke, others will angrily snap at your heretical statements as if they were a personal attack. Respect is for those who conform.

But it's not just politics or philosophy- it can be your actions as well. Last year when the Chapel Scanners were removed by a self-appointed bunch of rebels known as "La Revolucion", there was a massive outcry from much of the student body, not so much because of the anti-Chapel rule the group had made, but because of it's act of rebellion. Lashing against the system might be glorified elsewhere, but at Houghton, fighting the machine will not not gain the support of the masses. On the contrary, one of the quickest ways to a table at the back of the cafeteria is through raging against the machine.

So-called "unethical" behavior is yet another way to put yourself in the stocks. With a still-powerful Wesleyan background, smoking, drinking, and gambling are placed along side a list of other sins in the Community Covenant. As a result, smoking, drinking, and gambling are often treated as veritable sins. You don't have to be an alcoholic or an addict, there's enough of an anti-liquor/tobacco/gaming movement to ostracize those who do choose to sip a glass of wine now and then, or once in a while play some blackjack. Even with the policy change, "sketchy" dancing is considered to be immoral by some and therefore so are the dancers. "Love of the sinner, hate the sin" has yet to take hold here.

And so we reach the conclusion. Are we saying we should turn a blind eye to what others do? Are we to accept everything?
Not at all.
Obviously there are certain things which cannot be tolerated. We shouldn't condone crimes or sins or the poor choices of others. We have every right to hold our own opinions.
So do they.
And simply because a person or group of persons do hold differing ideals doesn't mean they should be burnt at the stake. We can believe a person to be wrong and still respect their choices and actions and beliefs behind them. We need to cut each other some slack and not demonize them for simply being different.

Can't we all just get along?

Weight of the World

To claim "Yo' momma so fat that when she wears a yellow dress, people flag her as a taxi!" would be a bit of an exaggeration but even so, it makes a good point. A recent study has shown that in the US, just over fifty-percent of the population is obese. Not merely overweight, but full-on obese. As if that weren't bad enough, a massive portion of the non-obese population is still fat- surprising, considering the country's obsession with "beauty" (the standards of which border anorexia). As a result of all this, I have often heard the claim made by those overweight "Sure I could lose of a few pounds, but I'm not morbidly obese!". Granted, they are not obese, but does that fact absolve them? After all, claiming that "I could be a nicer, more compassionate guy but at least I'm no Marquis de Sade!" doesn't make me any less of a jerk.

At this point, it must be stated that this is not directed against those who are fat as a result of a glandular disorder. If the pituitary is out of whack then's there nothing that can be done about it. No, this is directed to those who are fat as a result of personal choices.

True, no one chooses to be fat, but then again, it's not something that's completely out of our hands. Sure, with the increasing number of desk jobs and advancements in technology, it has become easier to be fat, the individual is not without blame. Choosing the elevator rather than the stairs, the brownies rather than the apple, the half-hour on the couch rather than on the treadmill- it all adds up in the end.

So what? Some may ask. So what if people are fat? Is that really such a crime?
Let's take a look at it.

Firstly, we have to ask ourselves, is it right for so many of us to be fat (not only fat but obese) when others starve? What does that say about us, especially at Houghton? Is this something we can condone? I doubt it.

Secondly, what are the religious ramifications? There isn't a religion on earth where being unhealthy is commendable and in many cases, fat, gluttony, and excess are considered sins. Should any religious person, bound by religious and ethical law, also be fat (or at least, fat to the point of being unfit or unhealthy)? Probably not.

Thirdly, there's the social issue. What does having a high number of fat individuals do to a society? In the case of manual labor, a healthy balance between underweight and overweight is required for the optimal results. As harsh as it may sound, when it comes to physical labor and athleticism, being fat really doesn't help anyone. True, athleticism and manual labor weren't meant for all, but even so, should push come to shove, everyone should be able to pull their own weight. So does being fat necessarily hurt society? No, but it certainly doesn't help either.

So after taking these three points into consideration, let us observe the reasons to be fat.

Let's see there's... there's...

Well, it doesn't seem that there are any benefits. Granted the extra layers of adipose tissue with help deal with cold, but only for a very brief period, after which movement- not fat- becomes the body's means of warming itself.

So what's the end result? Is it alright to be fat?

Of course. We have the rights to be whatever we want to be. It is our actions and choices, not our bodies and belt-sizes, that make us who we are. Nobody as the right to tell you to be or not be fat any more than someone can decide what kind of hairstyle you go for. But is being fat advisable? It it commendable?

Absolutely not.